am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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