I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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