Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
worst night to have a conscience
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
