Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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