Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize