distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize