i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
