I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
