I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
