these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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