I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
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Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
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We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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