Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
