omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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