My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
