Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
