# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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