Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
did you just send me my own nude
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
