She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
