Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
