is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
that is very illegal...i love you.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
