just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
