I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
