Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
