Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
