A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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