toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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