she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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