You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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