I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
