he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize