I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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