I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
