god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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