So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
