she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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