I think my vagina is haunted
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We are two peas in an std pod
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
