It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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