So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
