my shit smells like andre
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
