yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
