State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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