i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
