I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
