Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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