Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
