there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Michael Bay diarrhea
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
