Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
