i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
