it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
