It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
