From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
