Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
