the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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