I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
