So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
