I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Even my vagina gasped.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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