In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
