I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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