the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
