I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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