pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
