She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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