Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
